Pride is a sneaky little thing and can find its way into just about any part of your life if you’re not careful. I was wondering how it is that pride can find itself into marriages so easily. I mean why is it so dang hard for me to forgive my husband or admit that I am wrong? Why do I sometimes feel like I am better than my husband? Why are my bad qualities forgivable and understandable but his are absolutely intolerable?
We should hold our marriages to a high standard of quality. We should bring out the best, look for the best, and expect the best in our spouse and marriages. But what happens when the quality of our marriage is not the caliber that you expect and want? Do you lay all the blame on your spouse? Do you use divorce as your scapegoat when the quality of your marriage is poor? OR do you repent of your own weaknesses and forgive the weaknesses of your husband?
Repenting when we feel frustrated in marriage might seem kind of silly. There are so many times when I am convinced that I am 100% right and my hubby is 100% wrong. So why would I need to repent for “his” mistakes? I think that the answer is because that going beyond the fight- I am prideful in my heart for thinking that I am better than him or for pointing out his flaws so rudely. Being prideful is much more ugly and sinful than a simple mistake of doing the laundry wrong…even if the task has been explained a billion times.
Here are a couple other ways that pride can enter our marriages that Ezra Taft Benson explains in his talk “Beware of Pride”:
“Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking…Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride” -Ezra Taft Benson
It’s hard to admit when we have been prideful but getting rid of this vice is something that worth the effort. Try think back on past arguments and try to point out where you were being prideful and how eliminating that pride would have changed the tone of the argument. Now think about how getting rid of pride completely would change the tone of your marriage. It’s a lifelong pursuit, I think but it’s one that is more than worth it.
I put a link in the quote if you are interested in reading the entire sermon on pride.