One of my friends was talking to me about her relationship with her husband. He told her something along the lines of ‘You’re my wife, the mother to my children, and my business partner. I don’t need you as my best friend anymore…you need to find someone else for that.’ How sad! Literally my heart breaks when I think about this because why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t see you as their best friend? Their marriage isn’t in shambles, but it isn’t in great shape either
At the center of a healthy marriage is a thriving friendship. In crumbling marriages, the husband and wife aren’t friends at all. If two people aren’t even friends, how can they maintain a relationship that is based upon love and respect? Well, they can’t because the preface to love is friendship. Think about a best friend who isn’t your spouse. What makes them your best friend? My best friend is Meghan. We haven’t lived in the same state for 5 years since we graduated high school but we’re still close! We call each other and have lengthy conversations at least three times a week, we respect our differences on religion and politics, we support each other in our goals, we have the same humor, and we can listen to each other without any judgmental feelings. Those things make our friendship work and why would a friendship with my husband be any different?
My husband is my ultimate best friend of all time. Some things that we do to keep up on our friendship is we watch T.V. together at night and drink chocolate milk, we make plans to exercise together (and then end up watching more T.V and drinking chocolate milk), and since we work opposite schedules (he works 10:30pm-7am and I work 8:30-5pm) so we spend a lot of time on the phone during our breaks talking about everything and anything. Our relationship is NOT perfect, but I’d say that it’s happy and we are more in love than ever.
If your marriage is falling apart, try to become your spouse’s friend again. This means learning about their likes, dislikes, dreams, hopes, and fears all over again…even if you think you know them.
You can’t go wrong with friend zoning them 😉