I think that there are basically two types of marriages. We have a contractual marriage and a covenant marriage.
A contractual marriage is viewing your whole marriage like a contract. A contract has some guidelines or rules that both parties agree to. In the event that at least one of the parties fails to follow the rules that have been set forth, the contract is terminated. A contractual marriage goes along the same idea. So if at least one of the spouses fail to follow the “rules” that were set out in the beginning- then divorce is fair game.
In a covenant marriage, you view your marriage as sacred. You view it as this living thing that came from God. You’re in it to win it- through thick and thin- through sickness and health- no matter what. For you, divorce is not an option so you work through your problems.
I don’t know about everyone else but I want a covenant marriage. I want to feel confident and secure in my relationship that my husband is going to be there for me at the end of the day and that I will be there for him too. I want to know that my husband isn’t going to leave me because of my faults and I want him to know that I’ll always be there for him despite his weaknesses.
But just simply stating that what you want to do doesn’t mean anything. Goals require plans otherwise it’s just a wish. (Thanks Grandpa for teaching me that!) Okay did you get that? You need to make plans as a couple if you want a lasting marriage!
Here’s the plan for my husband and I:
1. We both put in 100% all day e’ry day. If we want our marriage to last then why on earth would we only put in 50% of our effort? (Notice that in contract marriages each person puts in 50% only- any more than that is “unfair” to them.)
2. We have weekly date nights. Just us two. No cell-phones. No work. Nada.
3. We go to the temple together regularly to worship together and remember the commitments that we made.
4. We support each other’s goals. Always.
5. We work hard to forgive each other and not bring up the past.
6. Daily make out sessions. Kissing is fun and so why not?
Spend an evening talking to your significant other about your marriage goals and how you are going to turn your marriage from a contractual marriage to a covenant marriage that’ll last forever.